Celebrating a review that has inspired me!!!

Finally my baby is in your hands. All of you have written in to say how the book reached you. Now I am eagerly awaiting to receive either the brickbats or the bouquets. But i had to share with you guys the first ever review that came out on my book written by Jogender Tuteja. All I can say when I have read the review is that I am humbled and this review in its totality has inspired my to write more books. I am not saying so because the review loves my book, it has picked up flaws too. But what makes this review complete for me- is the writer and his love for books.

Here comes a review from a person who has picked my book all by himself...its not a review copy that one usually sends to press. He picked it up and he loved it. And god does it show!!! As an author it has made my day. So please allow me to celebrate this review.

Book review - The Making of OSO
By Joginder Tuteja, November 26, 2007 - 14:00 IST

http://www.indiafm.com/

You actually require just five minutes to get biased and announce a verdict loud and clear about the book. I did so myself! The moment one flips through the pages and greedily tastes a sound byte here, a picture there and a quick read somewhere in the middle of the book, you know that it would be hard not to enjoy reading the book. The expectations level are at an all time high in these few minutes itself; something which is akin to watching a full length theatrical promo of a big Bollywood blockbuster film and anticipating it's arrival on the big screen soon!Thankfully, all the high expectations are met in totality, hence making it truly a collector's delight which can be find a place in your book shelf at least for one lifetime. No pun intended!

This one is no regular/usual behind the scenes kinda book! What you want to read are the quotes you haven't heard before in the 'hazaar' interviews by the cast and crew in the past. What you want to see are the pictures that have already not been seen in the film's promotional brochure. What you want to lend your ear are some gossips/tid bits/grapevine that have already not made it to the 5-scoops-a-day-tabloids. What you want to know are the actual hassles which took place rather than 'working in the film was like a picnic' or 'we were all as one big family'! And guess what, you get all of this and more! So let's talk about that 'more' first. It is this 'more' which gives a definite edge to the book hence making it stand out as the one that would enthrall not just the followers of Bollywood cinema but also those who want to lay hand on that something extra. It is that extra about dedicated chapters on 'Junior Artists' and 'Reincarnation', ably titled 'Reflected Glory' and 'Borne Again' which makes you visualize the book differently. To Mushtaq's credit, even though such write ups may have risked being drag/boring/depressing, he makes them quite entertaining. He gets into details like different brackets of junior artists being called for when it comes to a hotel or an airport or a marriage scene or a village setting. He divulges how different junior artists also get classified with different rate card for different scenes. That's not all, if you walk in and walk out of a frame, your pay packet is different from what you would if you are required to be drenched in rain. Interesting!

'Borne Again' is spooky yet exciting. Mushtaq does a little bit of research and Googling to find narrate some high profile cases of reincarnation in India that had made headlines some years back. And for some more information about real life imitating reel, find out what Shah Rukh Khan himself was in his last birth. The research says he was legendary dancer and actor Sadhana Bose! Read the book to know more. 50% into the book and you know that Mushtaq is a smart writer. He deftly handles various portions of the book and provides each of them a different flavor. So while some of the chapters have a core literature look and feel to it, others are told in light hearted tone. This is not all as there is imaginative writing coming into picture as well with one of the stories being told from an Assistant Director's point of view, the other has Mushtaq himself in a conversational mode with the film's crew while one of them is written in a screenplay mode. Easy for the writer since he is also one of the screenplay writers for the film Om Shanti Om.

However, the best is reserved for what perhaps has anyways been hailed as the best part about the film. The 31 star song, 'Deewangi Deewangi'. This is the place where Mushtaq lets his creative instincts get the better out of him as sets the stage with him and his Income Tax consultant looking at all the stars in awe as they take their places and shoot for the song. Quite funny and one of the lengthiest write-ups, it has some great humor interwoven into the text since Mushtaq demonstrates how a civilian (that's how he calls a star struck fan who seldom gets a chance to see his idol in flesh and blood) reacts to all the glamour around. In one way, the write up seems to be his own alter ego coming into fray with an IT guy just being an excuse to be placed as a character into the story! If the writer deserves accolades for his detailed work in the book, Ashish Pathak and Jochen Manz, the designer and photographer respectively, deserve full marks for their work too. They come together to make 'The Making of Om Shanti Om' a glossy fare which changes texture with every chapter boasting of a different layout, different font, picture placement and color combination. With no dull moment whatsoever as you flip page after page, it is hard not to hurriedly finish the content on one page (a lot of it on every page) and move on to the next to see what's in store. Any blemishes in the book? Yes.

What could have been one flawless fare is hampered due to the fact that there are some astonishing spelling/grammatical mistakes in the text, especially during the initial chapters. Some basic punctuation errors turn out to be quite alarming, as well as surprising, because one expects nothing but an impeccable product when it comes to a book for one of the most prestigious films of the year. Also, the writer has some reputation to maintain, especially having multiple books on Bollywood to his credit and hence it is disappointing when some glaring gaps like not just sentences but even paragraphs repeating at more than just a couple of instances! Anyways, ignoring all of this, one is bound to cherish this book which continues to celebrate the book even after it's release. It is a must read at least once and though hardcore film buff may not mind having a second read too, at least the pictures would make most refer the book multiple times. The moment you lay your hand on 'The Making of Om Shanti Om', it's hard not to exclaim 'wow'! Yes, you do expect ton loads of content and some exclusive behind the scene information to be unveiled in this Mushtaq Sheikh book but all of that is expected once you start turning over the pages. Before that it's the book's cover (yes, this time around the saying of 'never judge a book by it's cover' is proved untrue), styling and overall packaging that makes you plan for three spare hours and find an isolated corner pronto to enjoy an uninterrupted, undisturbed and concentrated reading of this book which turns out to be as entertaining and as blockbuster material as the Farah Khan film has been in itself! Farah Khan has made an interesting statement - "I think the only crime in movie making is to bore your audience". Well, Mushtaq Sheikh follows the same theory for his book too and the results are there for all to see.

Rating: ****1/2

The Making of Om Shanti Om- Cover Revealed!!!

Finally it can be told. Yes my blogo-addicts. You have been asking, questioning, prodding and sometimes even sounding curt about why I have not been seen on blog space. Now the truth can be told. Honestly speaking I have been totally tied with the designing of the new book that is soon to hit your nearest book stand.
But like all good things I hope this was worth the wait. I am talking about my next book, “Making of Om Shanti Om”. This book becomes even more special because I have written the screenplay of the film along with director Farah Khan. This cracker of a film I always believed deserved a book to freeze it forever on your book shelves. And I am thankful to Allah that I have finally given it shape and it’s in the final stage of production. Just a word of assurance this book too reflects the colour, the masala, the glamour, the highs and lows of Bollywood movies like my other books spell of.
The Making of Om Shanti Om is my tribute to Farha and her brand of movies. Her movies are about happiness, celebration and living it up. My book attempts to catch the movie, the stars, the technicians all in the aura of making a movie that is actually about the movies.
All you guys have been asking me when it’s going to release. The date is yet not finalized but I think we are looking at a week after release of the film. Keep watching this space for more. Keep you posted the first when I freeze on the date. The ones who are impatient can get on the official site of my publisher and order for the book online on http://www.om-books.com/The others can keep reading here what the latest on the Om Shanti Om front. And if you have anything to share with me that related to oso. Go ahead make my day. Leave you to savour the cover which is freshly landed in my hands. It's an exclusive for all my blogoaddicts. Wow isn't it a jaw dropper or what? So what if I am saying so myself.

Enjoy

Are Shah Rukh Khan's Abs for real?

I am back after a long break. Sorry guys for missing from the blog world for quite some time now. But the question that brings me back is the one that has been coming to my mail box from almost all corners of the world asking me if Srk's abs are for real or not? One letter has even gone to the extent of asking me if this is a camera trick. But whatever the flavour be. Be it shock? be it awe? be it pure lust? Srk's body is the biggest discussion point today. Everyone is talking about it..everyone wants to know how did this man manage it.

Women are drooling over it. Men are hitting the gym wanting to get their abs-right there and now. SRK has gone ahead and done it again. Woken all his peers from the slumber. Just when you thought he could do nothing so drastic that your eye balls would pop out-he has popped out six abs from no where. Dard-e-disco already had the nation swinging. Om shanti om is in the air... watch this space as I will soon be answering all your quetsions you guys have sent me related to me writing this magum opus... but for that there is some time.

But coming back to the question. Let me use this platform to clear the air if any. The abs are for real. As real and hard as it gets. Yes your truly has actually touched them to see. (Dont go green with envy..when you meet me next time I will touch you too. ha ha!!!)

Be it the songs. The wall papers all over the net..all are for real. Thats not smart camera trick..or technology weaving a dream body. It's for real. As real as Shah Rukh Khan himself is. Attaching it to the blog...just to increase the drool factor here too. Go ahead feast your eyes..

Chak De-lightful!!!!

I am speechless.. I dont have words.. Chak de has swept me off my feet. By far the best film of the year. Nothing can stop this movie. On Friday when I watched this movie in the darkness of the theatre (late night show) the only thing that came shining through was the brilliance of a director called Shimit Amin and a masterpiece of a movie called Chuk De.

Shimit Amin, Jaideep Sahni and Adi Chopra can take a bow. What a movie. My jaw hangs in awe watching this piece of art. The movie kept me rivetted. My goose flesh factory worked over time. My tear ducts gave away more than once. When I laughed, I laughed from the bottom of my belly. When I cheered, I clapped till my hands ached. Basically this movie got me by what always get me- by my soul. (If this movie was about cricket I would have tried my hand at the cheap pun- "it got me by my balls.". But for the time being balls to cricket...hello woman's hockey!!!

Nothing is coming close to this movie for quite some time for now.. This is not a merely a film. It re-defines a cult. And effortlessly becomes a bench mark. Srk out shines his own self and scores. God watching him is a delight. The pain, the shame, the mastermind, the iron hand, the fragile human being-he rolls it all into one powerpacked performamce. How does this man manage it without fail always. Actually come to think of it this time over it was simple. No credit should be given to Shah Rukh Khan for the brilliance of this movie called Chuk De. Its only Kabir Khan all the way. Who is Shah Rukh Khan any way? Was he even there in the movie? If you found him any place do let me know.

The girls won my heart over and they played with my emotions as they dexterously played with their hockey stick... Nothing seems wrong with this one. Human spirit meets great writing is always going to be magic. Cinema at its very best.

When you are watching this movie in the cinema hall. Watch how in just a few minutes the whole auditorium turns into a stadium. You become the spectator and Chuk De becomes the game. Very few movies in life-take another form. A form of its own. This one does.

Once in a lifetime movie- Take my word for it. Do see it!!!

The Duh Vinci Kode

It's a sad day for all of us. Everyone is stunned. The verdict is out and Sanjay Dutt finds himself behind bars for six years. The poor fella should never have got such a harsh end of the stick. Six fucking years to possess a gun is a wee bit too much. Kode struck the baton and give him the sentence and also told him filmi things like, " Act in movies, till you are hundred years like Gregory Peck." Its so heart warming to know the judge had all his information of film world in place when he pronounced this judgement. But due credit to his illustrious career what he seems to have missed is the simple equation of mercy ( i want to send him a copy of Andha Kanoon).

Actually its hardly his fault...this case was being fought more in perception than in reality. No wonder before giving the verdict he said the words, " i am just doing my job". It was more like if we pronunce him guilty- see how cool we are. The system won and nobody is bigger than us. More like in Dutt movies where the moves are in "reel" and not in "real". Ironical indeed.

For god sake its been fourteen long years for this whole thing to come to this point. Justice delayed is justice denied. And when you have already goofed up on one side..why dont you consider mercy.

The real reason for law is to reform. Agreed Dutt has made his mistakes but he has already paid back. His earlier stint in jail, trial by media for all these years...trauma..humilation...suspense of whats gonnna happen next? How much more do you want someone to pay up? Atonement for possessing arms is one...killing somebody's spirit for it is another. The sentence is excessive and everyone around is feeling that way.

I never knew this sentence would affect me so much. But the fact is that it has...it hurts to see the system faulter like this. We cannot always give this argument of "everyone is equal in the eyes of law"-and then go against the same dictate and treat celebs differently. Just by making Sanjay Dutt a target to prove a point is not going to solve the problem of arms in this country. NOr is it going to send shivers down the spine of people who have illegal weapons. They have been owning it without fear for many years.

Yes..Yes I can almost hear you guys say that two wrongs dont make one right...I agree. But then why are we not treating them as two individual ailments and treating them both. Why are we not bringing everyone to the book and solving the problem to set example?

Like the famous curse in Hindi goes, tujhe kode lag jaye (which translated mean may you be afflicted by an incurable disease). This time it looks like the kode has struck Dutt and his free life... I dont think it Kode of Conduct. In my opinion for whatever it is worth- Its the great indian DUH!!! Vinci Kode.

You give your best shot, to try and change. You try to reform and make a difference to the society which thinks you have gone wrong. And then fourteen years later, somebody in a strange black over coat decides that you should be grounded for six years. Dutt is life i presume.

p.s: we call ourselves free souls; sometimes we should give that one a thought.

Gossip..Grapevine and Underwears!!!

For all the readers, friends and gossip hungry eels there is some real bad news. Thank you for all the stinkers I received simply because for the last three weeks I have not written Bollywood gup-shup or what have you. The bad news is as you can see from the title of the blog that I am no longer going to be writing what the gristmills are abuzz with. Phew!!! now that I have said it I feel much much better.

The shocking part of it all was when I began writing this blog my intention was never to write only about Bollywood and its so called stars.
If you want the hottest gossip on the film stars I am sure there are many thrashy sites that are doing that job and doing a very fine job of it.
To set the record straight this blog is going to be writing…and writing that concerns me. Things that I feel strongly about. In that if I may sometimes write about movies that make my day or fuck my mind up. Some stars that I want to address or issues that need some thought in cyber space. It may be about my sojourn to the wilderness or to Egypt. It could be anything. But to actually expect me to only write about Bollywood gossip would be sacrilege.
Agreed I work in the movies. I live and breathe movies. But that does not mean my world around me is a film cocoon. What if you are a doctor and you come home to eat intestines..tell your parents about the child you just aborted…or when you meet you friends you carry along tales with you on a cyst ruptured when you were getting it out of a ninty year old lady.
Does the thought repel you? Well movie gossip, movies news and movies trivia all the time for me…upsets me. Sometimes fact is stranger than fiction. Try the taste of life gossip mongers-you will love it. By this I don’t mean I am stopped taking interest in gossip mind you..No never gossip, grist mills, grapevine all are delicious and worth a try and a shot-but there is more to life than just that.Thats all I would I like to clarify once for all.
Dirty linen smells nice and tasty when it belongs to someone else but the stench gets really bad when you its your own underwear…that too with the stink of yesterday. Sometimes smell your own underwear its good for your olfactory channel.

(p.s: I hope I am not sounding holier than thou in this piece. I am just making my stand clear )

Snails and Ladders

It's raining in Bombay and its causing all the muck in the concrete jungle. We keep waiting for the heavens to shower us with cool drops and when it actually pours we go running scared...so not to get wet. Big deal. I wonder whats the big fuss we make about getting wet. Its not acid...we are not going to melt. Nor are we going to catch the cold. But we still panic and run for shelter as if its the end of the world. But there is one dude who does not seem to panic come ran or shine. My eye candy-the snail.

These creatures come around my building gardens around the rains and watching them lead a calm life always is a reminder that I am doing it all wrong. They dont panic.(they cant afford to). Whenever the enemy looms large they withdraw in their shell only to re-emerge with renewed vigour just within few seconds. Be it rain, floods or gooey muck land they never seem to tire, trying to stay afloat. But the best of these creatures is that wherever they go they leave their mark behind(the little shiny sticky glue kind of foot prints)

Watching the teeny weenie snails is always therapeutic. It makes you think nothing is worth feeling small about. And whenever the going gets tough you have to pick your shell and baggage and move ahead. The big foot coming to crush you, should not kill the spirit in you. After all this is nature's snails and ladders. Someone will own the foot and someone the fragile shell...someone will be powerful to destroy and the other will be defined because they can be destroyed.

But forget the power of the meek and the strong. Forget the politics of survival. Its time like the snail to get out in the rain. Get soaked in life. To take life as it comes. Nothing to worry just like the snail lets look up and march ahead. What will have to befall, will. What has to go wrong, will. Or you may reach the cool confines of the humid wall near by, where yummy moss grows...and life will pass as smoothly as slippery fellow- snail.

Beauty of nothingness and botox!!!

My friends were upset that I was not changing my blog for some days now...not replying back to their mail..not reverting back to the voice mail messages. All this because I suddenly realized I needed a break. So what I did was got up all by myself, packed my underwears in a bag and left on a weekend hideout.

And god what an experience it was. I was there in the midst of mist, in the bosom of mother nature... simply because I wanted to slow down. Becuase I have been running to hard to keep up. I wanted to do nothing of that sort for some days. I wanted to be in my pyjamas... not run any race..not be answerable to anyone and not to meet any deadlines. And I suddenly i realized how difficult it was for me to do just NOTHING.

Doing nothing is a blessing we all seem to have forgotten. Either we all are not being allowed this luxury, or we all are collectively destroying the power of doing shit all. The need to seen makes us go to the disco on saturday nights when we should just curl up in bed with a hot cup of mocha, peer pressure c0mpels us to get ready and rush for the sunday brunch. The man who pays you your cheques shows you eyes if you dont come to his hell hole on monday... from tuesday onwards we sell are soul simply because we want to compete with noone but our own self. This way we are all losing are right to just-hang loose. And discover the joy of doing absolutely nothing!!!

I tried it this time and god how difficult it was. Every minute I was thinking whats going to be happening to projects??? whats happening to my uncle who is going to London??? What's with my readers who must have left messages for me on my site??? what about my Labrador Bageera who will miss...what about my mum? what about global warming? what about my mobile message counter...whats with my friends????I was just not refusing to let go.

And then I said fuck it...all can wait. The messages, the money, the love, the stars, the gossip, the sex, the responsibilities and the movies. I needed time for myself. So i junked the mobile got into the rains and soaked myself with the unthinkable joy of doing nothing at all. I did this for three days

(thats all I could manage this time over-and I have promised myself a longer sojourn next time), and now I am back. I feel like a star. Just three days have done the trick for me.

Success is not about making mansions, and leaving behind legacies. After all how many of us remember our great great great fathers. (actually lets just make its our father's father's father---feels like a further off memory). Then whom are we doing all this for. Success is about owning your time. Ownership rights on the seconds that are passing by is the true treasure.

Today I feel like a de-toxified glow worm. Glowing because I did it. Spent time with MYSELF.

Have you tried it? Please do and take my word for it-it works better than botox.

Brand new posters of Chak De are over the Mumbai city skyline. There is a small difference in the first promo released in the theatres to these slick hoardings and the new series released on television. The girls in the movie have been unceremoniously dropped. And Shah Rukh makes his presence felt.
They eleven or was it fourteen girls (actually does not matter) were proudly presented in the video cum promo in the world wide release of Jhoom Bara Bara. There was a world wide out cry over how bad that particular promo was. So bad was the reaction that YRF got the promo removed from the theatre in three days. But luckily not all is going wrong for Yash Chopra camp, nobody went in to see Jhoom so they got ample time to correct their latest gaffe. And this way not many saw the first bad promo of Chak De.
With three movies failing to make an impact on the balance sheet. Yash Chopra have returned back to the card that always works Shah Rukh Khan. So they may have their Dhooms, Hum and tums but when it comes to raking in the moolah you have to shove the hockey sticks where it forces the audiences to pay up pronto. And Yash Raj has learned that lesson quickly. They are making amends and it shows.
Hope the move to throw hockey team out of a hockey team film proves fruitful to the Yash Raj company. Hope SRK magic works for them yet again. Hope all the girls acting in the movie get acting career after this flick. Hope Indian hockey gets little attention in all this hype and hoopla. Hope women’s hockey in this country makes a comeback…actually there is a lot of hope in the last para I have typed. That’s all Yash Raj is counting the Friday Chak De releases.

Aak Ka SuSu- The Him Mess Movie

The trade papers are shouting and saying that Aap Ka Suroor has got a big opening. In fact they are saying its the biggest opening for any film released in the year. Just to rub salt where it really hurts they are singling out Dhoom2 and saying its, "even bigger than Dhoom 2". And all this hype is really making me very angry. You wonder why? read on...

Angry because the movie they are talking about is a shit pot. Actually make that a shit pit. They are all saying what a big opening its got, is anybody bothering to tell us how the audiences want to rip the cap from the singer's head and shove it up his nose. Nobody is telling us that. Nobody is telling us there is nobody in the theatres from monday onwards. Nobody is informing us that apart from the critics even the public has puked all over the seats in the cinema halls. Whats the big deal about a great opening? Every other film seems to make a historic opening and then it crumbles at the mercy of a Monday. Even Aap Ka Suroor met with the same fate.

So why are they making such a big deal about Himesh. Tell me tell you. Because its a delicious feeling that a new star is born. And one wont have to take the shit a handful of other stars who act too pricey...but then they dont know when you make someone like Himesh. In exactly two weeks even he gets as obnioxious as the others.

If this was a good film I would be the first one to applaud. But its not. If Himesh had surprised me with his acting talent i would accept it pronto but there too he has failed. So what does that make him- a singer who released a film. The magic worked and audiences who have heard his songs over the last five years a million times, got all "nosey" and rushed into the theatres to see what he has done. But what they saw was shocking. And everyone is singing one song now, " this man should stick to singing".

And for all these trade guys who have praised him- I have only one question to ask them, will you back the next film this man will release? Will you produce the movie he makes and put your money where your mouth is.. or where your nose is. I nose it...its a big "no"seeeeee!!!!!

Himesh tum ne to naak katwa dee yaar!!!!

(p.s: any body having any other personal or ENT problems with Himesh, please feel free to post it here...I have a NOSE for facts and more!)

The Mega Mannat hoax !!!!

I have been flooded with mails from everywhere sending me the mail which has been making the rounds on the net of the ever elusive Mannat.

Suddenly everyone seems to be envious of my visit to this nest that belongs to Shah Rukh Khan. One look at the photos and even I was taken aback. My jaw did defy gravity and hit the ceiling. Calm down...its not because Mannat really looks photogenic. It's because this was a big hoax.This was not Mannat. It was complete bull shit. How can someone actually pass this off as the real stuff. God this is scary!!!

Taking the crusade of clearing the air on such rubbish. Let me tell you if any of you have been on the darker side of the net...you, your loved one, your pet or your house do let me know. This evil side of the information highway has suddenly started to fascinate me. And if there is anything that you think I am the final authority on then feel free to post it and let me clear the air.

Just keep you fingers crossed that it should irk me enough to answer!!!

(p.s: the photo that I have attached with this blog again is not Mannat, its from the same fake mail. So it allows you to recognize the false alarm..) Till next time its HOME SHANTI HOME.

Why does SRK look the way he does?

Just saw a photo of Shah Rukh Khan and the way he looked, made me gape at him with unashamed shock...just made me wonder how can some one cross fourty years on his birthday cake and still look this way.

My guess-timates for his supple and youthful looks are as below: Could it be?

1. Happiness...

2. Success...

3. Super success...

4. Drive to look like this...

5. Happy Marriage...

6. Genes...

7. Love of million people...

8. Gym Membership

9. House called Mannat.

10. Tandoori Chicken...

11.Allah's Blessings...

If you have any more guesses as to what could be SRK's elixir of life!!! Dash it to me!!!

Friday Jitters For Yash Chopra Clan

The news is finally sealed and delivered. Yash Chopra's latest offering Jhoom Barabar Jhoom has faultered at the box office and how. The trade pundits are shouting at the roof tops that the film has bit the dust. Sivaji has eaten this Aki Nirula's fashion showing for lunch, dinner and idli... "Boss ek picture hit hain and doosri dabba", informs by spy at the ticket counter in Fame Ad Labs with a smirk that will make the best of us cringe. It may take years to make one film..but it takes one opinion to send your intestines into a mess.

As far as I am concerned this film was a big hog wash. Total crap. Nothing to offer. Nothing to crave about...and nothing to write home about. The saving grace of the movie was the stars who gave their best to fight the unreal surrounding they were placed in. The surprise packet was Bobby Deol without a doubt. Finally he seems to shed his lazy outlook and get his act right. He seems to give it his best and it shows. This film may have flopped, but it brings Bobby of yore- back. Lara proves that she is versatile. From a french chick to a cheap whore in Southhall certainly needs range. Whore kuch nahin!!!

It's not that I am rejoicing a failure of a film. Only I am thrilled that finally YRF also has been bitten by the Friday bug. All the filmis are finally celebrating and that chorus seems to say, " even they are human...even they have tasted failure." Now no one can say get the big stars like Yash Chopra does and you will know what is success...even they flop. The writing on the box office wall is clear...The myth of making a bad film and packaging it well is not going to save the movie. So what if you are Yash Chopra productions!!!

If Mukta makes a bad film, Good Boy Bad Boy they will be thrashed. If Ravi Copra goofs up with Baabul, he will be ripped. And if you make Jhoom Barabar jhoom you wont be spared. You could be anyone. The public is not going to allow you too many mistakes. They bleched with Kabul Express. They sighed with Tara Rum Pum and by the time Jhoom was served to them, it was time for them to throw up.

Out of all days, Friday is great leveller. It brings all to one level. The YRF team has found that out this 'fry'day. And hopefully they would amends quickly. And the other indelible truth that Friday has warned all film folks in Bombay is: Never ever mess with Rajnikanth. He is the BOSS.

What YRF can't???...RajniKANT!!!

The Gupta Gyan

Sanjay Gupta is back with a bang. This time the bang is not connected with "a stunner who can gyrate to a song". Its the big bang at the box office. White feather has delivered a hit and everything is gung ho with the trade pundits who have many scores to settle with Gupta.

They feel he does his own thing. They think he makes movies which are not universal hits. They think he is very stylized and reflects no soul. They feel he is living in some cocoon. In simple language when these barbs are translated it means ( but they dont have the balls to say it openly): " This man is having a blast of a time doing what he knows best: MOVIES!!!"

He reads tons and tons of books. Shockers of all he reads charles burowski too. He reacts to new authors and books like a child reacts to candy. He has thousands of movies on DVD and he watches it with a passion, you and me ordinary mortals make love to our loved ones with. Be it Irani, Malyasian, Chinese or Russian he watches all movies. Unlike some directors who claim status by quoting books and talking international cinema, Gupta does not feel the need to flaunt his knowledge. He instead parties and you see quaint photos of him in "dumb" parties. But he does not want to impress anyone. He wants to make his movies. He wants to make his brand of cinema.

And finally he will be able to do so. Many have attempted to ape his stylised way of his movies. But they have failed. Infact when others make movies that have the cutting edge...we are already saying, " that was such a Sanjay Gupta genre of film".

Which means he is already become an "adjective". From a proper name to adjective. Sanjay Gupta has come a long way...

Roll in the limousine, bring out the champagne glassess...uhh where are the fine legs. Throw in Sanju Baba with the golden tooth cap...sprinkle in the infectious beat and what you have is Gupta Gyan. Totally addictive..Just like gupt gyan!!!

The Music Ghai

Subhash Ghai, my buddy has send me a Cd with a song he has just recorded and he transports me to another world. The man has a way of making music, eternal. Almost every film of his has scored with music. The man wants to know what I think about the song. What I think? God its awesome, it rocks, its forcing me to hit the rewind button again and again so my ears can celebrate what he has created.

Everyone associates music with the showman Subhash Ghai for all the right reasons. But very few have been as lucky enough as me as to be closely connected to this genius as to know why his music never fails.

The man and his music mantra is a very simple one. He is married to music. He does not only has a ear for good music, he plays around five instruments himself. Talking about his love for music he tells me, " it was because of my mum and dad that I took to music. They told me to hear what the when the world makes music when its not doing so in the real sense of the word. Be it the sound of temple bells and the persuasive singing of a seller trading his wares. The cattle grazing, the human chomping on a delicious meal, the soft caress of a wind...music makes the world go around." If you feel this was too much of a find for music then wait for what this film man tells me further, "next time you are stuck in a traffic jam...dont lose your temper..listen to the music and you will feel it..." Yeah right!!!

His day begins with music, he drives with music on, he has breakfast, lunch and dinner with music playing. He goes off to sleep with music singing him a lullaby...if music wont make him a muse whom else would it choose as a delivery medium?

As a word of advice to me, the restless soul Ghai tells me why don't I use my Ipod to listen to some music and he guarantees me it will calm me down. He tells me as a cure for my insomnia i should listen to music. I take his advice seriously...the night falls and I put the music waves on. Only with me in seconds all the emotions connected with various songs come gushing to me and I am terribly disturbed. I rush to the mobile make some calls so that my heart can rest for a while...the phone is not answered...i call another number that can calm my nerves even that number is not reachable. I forget the music and its positive effects it has for the Music Ghai...its effect on me has been devastating. I reprimand myself that I should stick to music only in the day time when people are walking on the roads and my loved ones are awake to answer my call.

I am damn disturbed. I need to do something about my head and now that it is shivering with love, betrayal, pain, happiness, memories, dejection, craving et all at the same time. I need the human touch. I dont have any. In this anguish it dawns on me on why music is such a universal language?

A slow song means slow dance in Madras and it means the same in Madrid. It bring back memories in Japan and the same it does in Bombay city. I am bursting I should have never tried music as a sleeping partner. Here I am blogging so I connect with someone...

If music be the food of love... somebody hear me!!! Or should I sing, " Help I need somebody..help..."

The Hospitality Industry!!!

The oxygen mask is weaving life into my dad who is admitted in Leelavati and I stand helplessly waiting for the doctors to do a fine job. Hospitals have a strange effect on me. I get strange in the strerile atmosphere..almost get philosiphical and usually end up asking the question, " all that running around in life -for this prescription. Not worth it."

Every hospital visit slows me down. It calms me. Tells me to stop the tour bus called "life" and get off so I can breathe a little. But above it all I get filmi, in terms of being dramatic. I think of all the memorable movies from Anand to Kal Ho Na Ho and wonder how it would be if we had to enact a scene that one has seen in movies in real life. Would I try humour as Rajesh Khanna and Shah Rukh tried. Or would I mope. For an answer I will have to wait till i hit the white sheets. (My dad in some way was quite a rock star in the icu i must admit...he moved off the ventilator in one day and the doctors were shocked by his power to fight back).

But sitting there in Leelavati I did give a thought to all my other celebrity filmi friends who have come to the hospital and found themselves covered by the media and hounded to unreal levels. Be it Karan Johar, Shah Rukh, Amitabh Bachchan, Sanjay Gupta when they were here in this same hospital they were never given their space. The shutter bugs got on thier nerves. Sometimes the press bribed the security to get into the ward so they could get exclusive footage (ugh!!!).

The uncertainity of the times, the smell of pain just around the corner, the simulation of hope can be quite tiring and nobody deserves intrusion when they are in hospital fighting the delicate battle between the medicine and the flatline. I just wondered how my freinds tackled all of it and still managed to smile.

Luckily for me I am not a celebrity and I am allowed my privacy. This moment when I sit in the stark white room of the hospital i wish i remain that way...so that i can be myself in hospitals. No cameras, no fake concern, no strangers dropping in to wish speedy recovery...no nothing. Just me, my health, my doctors and my fate- and I am DEAD sure about this.

Hey Baby!!!Sajid Khan is going to make you pee.

I am saying so as if I am soothsayer...but mark my word today I am penning thoughts about a man who has yet not be discovered as a film director by the whole wide world, but will be in a matter of some months.

I am not saying these things about him because I have worked on the film with him..nor I am allowing my freindship with him colour my perspective.

I am just writing it earlier in blog space somewhere on the information highway..because later I can I say it, " I always knew!!!"

This man some years ago would make you laugh your pants off by doing shows on television. ( Knowing him and his humour he also has the power to convince you to stay that way..so when you laugh you dont know what are you laughing at his jokes..or at yourself naked). Yes I am talking about the one and only laugh riot- Sajid Khan.

For months this man has been completely devoted to his first film and he has sacrificied his jokes, his one liners and his acerbic sense of ha ha he he...into making a movie Hey Baby. His baby is all shaped up and is soon to hit the theatre near you on a certain Friday.

When you make a mad man compress all his mirth into a film..what you get is a mad ride on the wild side. Hey Baby, you can take my word will make you roll from your seats to the aisles. I would suggest you carry your diapers too..because some of you make even leak a wee bit. You know what I mean, that wee little pee wee that comes out when you cant control your insides and your outsides.

You can be sure that the two hours fifteen minutes when you see Sajid Khan's film he will control you. Now thats what I call hall of fame for any film director...

So finally here comes a movie that passes the 'P' test. Your Diaper gets wet and the 'P'aying 'P'ublic finally can announce 'P'aisa Vasool.

Pee S: If I am wrong about this, you can pee on this blog. If you are into kinky stuff...you can pee on me.

Ash-Abhi Abhi Nahin...

Suddenly the whole media hoopla around the big fat Indian wedding is over. Nobody is talking about Abhi and Ash.

What did they do next? How was the honey moon? Did they lose thier baggage en route? Was the hotel manager given a big tip by the couple? Where are they going to next? No questions..no answers...no drama..no attention. Just simply dropped from the limelight? What sin have they committed for such a mass media ignore...

You dont have to be Sherlock Holmes to answer that? But just in case you are in duh mode for the moment. Let me tell you, simple yaar! They are no longer the tasty-yummy most eligible bachelors of the century-but plain staid, ordinary husband-wife now.

Phew!!!

Phool and Final

I have yet to see the movie but the reviewers have been abusing the movie Fool and Final. They feel it does not even deserve any star ratings. But then thats movie making sometimes you recieve the Phool and sometimes its sometimes it fool (full) stop for your career. It must pinch a creative soul to get such pathetic reviwers after all Ahmed Khan must have put his heart and soul out to dish out a movie like this. But when its friday..nobody cares. Its FRY-Day if you have goofed up.

Like Mahesh Bhatt had once told me, " Critics are like mosquitoes. They survive because of you. If you are going to make something they will rip it apart. Thats their job. They are around, because you are." This sounds good to people who have not experienced the stings of bad reviews. But ask Ahmed Khan today he would want to de-skin each and everyone who has hated his movie.

But if I were him I would not do that because it feels the whole country has called his film, "drivel", instead he should preserve his energy and use it to make another film. This time he should not live in "fool's" paradise.

Reign Man...Oops Rain Man!!!!

Sitting at my coffee shop I was surprised by the sudden showers that seem to drench Mumbai city.
Nobody was expecting it and I am no alien. So my Ferrari lap top almost ran for cover and my latest nokia shreaked for help. In all the commotion I saw SRK sleek BMW whizz by and he actually slipped out of his car to wave out to me. I was earlier the rain man and I just was wished by Reign man. This monsoon will augur well. The rain drops seem to say it.